A Good Life

Off to the House of Lords - more of this later - for the answer to the question: Can you still live a good life if you have dementia? 

The HoL was the setting for the launch of a report funded by dementia specialists and independent healthcare company Red & Yellow Care and published in association with the Alzheimer’s Society.

The report - amongst other things - aims to alleviate some of the fear people have about being diagnosed with the condition  and to bring a 'more hopeful perspective' in the way we approach it. 

It suggests, for instance, that we should worry less about memory and remembering and focus more on enabling people with dementia to live in the moment and enjoy the here and now.

The report has identified what it calls Six Paths to a Good Life with Dementia.

The other five are:

*Respecting identity

It’s not one size fits all. Being seen and valued as an individual is central.

*Sustaining Relationships

You don’t always need words.

*Valuing Contrast

We all have good days and bad days – why should we expect things to be different for people with dementia?

*Supporting Agency

Not wrapping a person with dementia in cotton wool for their own safety - letting them do things they enjoy even if this means they take risks.

*Maintaining health

Making sure that everything is not automatically put down to dementia. If someone is not eating, they might have dental problems, for example.   

You can read more here.

And what do you do?

Today actor Tim West  revealed that his wife, Fawlty Towers star Prunella Scales, has 'a sort of mild Alzheimer's'. 

I know this isn’t a fun topic. But I have a little first-hand experience of what living with someone with dementia is like. 

My father-in-law, a clever, perceptive man, developed dementia towards the end of his life. And although we could laugh about his little ways – humming to himself when he couldn’t follow the conversation round the dinner table or asking the same questions in a tone of polite enquiry over and over again – it can’t have been easy for his wife who cared for him day in, day out.

I was recently sent a book written to help families cope with Alzheimer’s or other dementias. It’s full of useful, easy to understand advice and I could have done with it when my father-in-law was still alive. 

It spells out how to  managing the sort of challenging behaviours that may present themselves  - such as agitation and confusion, hiding things or refusing to wash. The advice is often simple but is drawn from decades of caregiving experience by experts. So although I haven't personally tried and tested these techniques, others have. 

Here are a couple of tips concerning meal times:

*Avoid patterned dishes, placemats and tablecloths. Patterns can be confusing as vision worsens or distracting when you need Mum to eat.

*Look to create contrast on the dinner plate. Mum may not be able to see turkey, potaties and cauliflower on a white plate. Consider a coloured plate.

And a couple about delusions:

*Enter her reality. If Mum believes she is a young mother with toddlers, go along with her reality in a non-commital way by discussing how toddlers can be difficult. Redirect Mum to a favourite activity such as naking a cake.

*If Mum says ‘There’s a man outside,’ say ‘He’s just passing by. Let’s go and have some lunch.’

Confidence to Care by Molly Carpenter (Homestead Press) is available through Amazon rrp £7.99.