Tuesday, April 7, 2015

21 reasons why I never lose weight

1. Easter. Hot cross buns and chocolate. Enough said.
2. Children/grandchildren. Preparing three meals a day. Eating up leftovers.
3. Being an ex-smoker. Still need oral gratification - vaping invented too late.
4. City breaks. Ensaimadas for breakfast. Pintxos for lunch.
5. Heartbreak. Losing friends, relations, trust, sense of  proportion = comfort eating.
6. Eccles cakes. All those currents. Surely count as one of my five-a-day?
7. Summer barbecues. Bangers, beer and burgers.
8. Boredom. What’s in the cupboard? Ooh, peanut butter. And crisps.
9. Wine.

10. Great British Bake Off. I’d like to bake a pineapple upside down cake. Now I’ll eat it.
11. Marriage. To a man who likes a little snackette. And three square meals a day.
12. Halloween. Pumpkin pie and Haribos.
13. Great British weather. Carbs help keep out the chill.  
14. Sunday lunch. Yorkshire puddings and roast potatoes.
15. Christmas. Mince pies and brandy butter.
16. Rows (leading to fridge raiding) and reconciliations (let’s drink to that).
17. Wedding Anniversary. Maybe roses, definitely chocolates. 
18. Valentine’s Day. Ditto.
19. Mother’s Day. Ditto but from offspring.
20. Birthday. Ditto – from everybody.
21. Oh look – it’s Easter again ….