21 reasons why I never lose weight

1. Easter. Hot cross buns and chocolate. Enough said.

2. Children/grandchildren. Preparing three meals a day. Eating up leftovers.

3. Being an ex-smoker. Still need oral gratification - vaping invented too late.

4. City breaks. Ensaimadas for breakfast. Pintxos for lunch.

5. Heartbreak. Losing friends, relations, trust, sense of  proportion = comfort eating.

6. Eccles cakes. All those currents. Surely count as one of my five-a-day?

7. Summer barbecues. Bangers, beer and burgers.

8. Boredom. What’s in the cupboard? Ooh, peanut butter. And crisps.

9. Wine.

10. Great British Bake Off. I’d like to bake a pineapple upside down cake. Now I’ll eat it.

11. Marriage. To a man who likes a little snackette. And three square meals a day.

12. Halloween. Pumpkin pie and Haribos.

13. Great British weather. Carbs help keep out the chill.  

14. Sunday lunch. Yorkshire puddings and roast potatoes.

15. Christmas. Mince pies and brandy butter.

16. Rows (leading to fridge raiding) and reconciliations (let’s drink to that).

17. Wedding Anniversary. Maybe roses, definitely chocolates. 

18. Valentine’s Day. Ditto.

19. Mother’s Day. Ditto but from offspring.

20. Birthday. Ditto – from everybody.

21. Oh look – it’s Easter again ….

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Chocolate is for life ... not just for Easter

It’s nearly Easter – so here are 4 chocolate-related items that may be of interest all year round.

1. Eye Bar

This comes under the category of  ‘what will they think of next’! The EyeBar is a dark chocolate bar enriched with zinc, lutein, zeaxanthin, vitamins C and E and copper – said to be essential for eye health.

The blurb says that many people find taking tablets and capsules uncomfortable and can have trouble digesting them, so the chocolate bar is a more enjoyable way of getting the vitamins and minerals that can help protect your eyesight as you get older.

I wouldn’t go so far as to say they are delicious - and the bars are teeny -  but they do taste quite chocolatey and are much nicer than swallowing a pill.

Price:  £20 for a box of 30 individually wrapped bars, available at opticians and independent pharmacies.

2. Choc Shot

Billed as the ultimate dieting cheat, Choc Shot is ‘liquid chocolate that has only 14 calories a teaspoon’ and is (they say) recommended by Weightwatchers and Slimming World.

I like it because it is nut free (so my nut allergy grandchild can have some squeezed on her icecream) but it is also gluten free, soya free, wheat free, dairy free, and egg free, which means it ticks plenty of boxes.

If you’re wondering what’s actually in it, the label says: Sweet Freedom (natural fruit extracts: applea, grapes and carob), water, cocoa, rapeseend oil, natural chocolate flavour. Not a lot of actual chocolate, then and I can’t say I’d give up the real deal for this. But then I’m not dieting, even though I probably should be.

Price: £3.59 for a 320g bottle from leading retailers including Tesco, Sainsbury's, Morrisons.

3. Easter Egg Weigh Up

According to weightlossresources we Brits spend a £4 billion a year on chocolate. This averages out at £65 per person and 53,000 extra calories – enough to help us gain 15lb in a year.

They’ve come up with a guide to buying Easter eggs and some helpful tips to stop you overdosing on crème eggs, truffles and the like. For example they suggest keeping chocolate out of sight in the back of the fridge. 'It will not only stop you constantly nibbling on it and chilled chocolate will last longer in your mouth!’

4. Chocolate Paella (yes, really)

From the restaurant chain La Tasca comes this idea which is either brilliant or appalling – I can’t make my mind up.

If you try it, let me know. Happy Easter